The Gifts of Illness

I haven't gotten out for my walk yet because I'm waiting for phone calls relating to all sorts of medical type things. I alluded to my "mystery diagnosis" status in one blog entry, but I'm going to talk about it a little more here.

So the doctors don't know exactly what is wrong with me. I have pain daily and I'm always pretty tired. I try to keep to my schedule and exercise and eat right and visit the doctor when something seems more wrong than usual, but I can't seem to get the next set of tests cleared by the insurance company and it is frustrating.

I think my best bet is to look at the gifts that this situation has given me. I appreciate my life more now than ever. Because I've been so sick, I've been able to stay home and work on my true passion -- my art. The daily wads of pain that are tucked into my body makes me aware of every moment of life. And I know it sounds strange, but I actually appreciate that. It creates an awareness that I have never had before.

I appreciate that it is something I can live with. These feelings may not be fun and some days are harder than others -- but it's okay. I have more gifts now than ever because I SEE them.

This world is an amazing place. I am lucky because I have been forced to slow down and really look around me. It means everything to me to have this perspective. I have said it many times recently: I wish everyone could slow down for six months and see the world. Really see the world.

Thank you for reading this -- those of you out in the ether. I wouldn't write if it weren't for you.

And here's my dear Snoopy... she's yawning as she, too, is sleepy a lot.